A year ago, all three of us obtained our Manipulador de Alimentos certificate online (the Spanish version of the so-called Food Hygiene certificate). One of the many requirements that a Bed & Breakfast owner in Spain must meet and (in retrospect) one of the few things that we clearly had in mind well before opening. Because although I once ran the entire Valencian decree (almost a hundred pages long) completely through ‘Google Translate’ and had (and still have) a reasonable idea of which regulations our company must comply with (nowadays), I still get surprised every now and then by the various authorities that would like to audit a specific part of the company.
Unfortunately, it is a tad bitter that in some cases it does not matter whether you are the owner of a small-scale Bed & Breakfast (with five rooms like ours) or a large hotel chain. But it is what it is. Rules are rules and little by little we hope to tie up all the last loose ends by the end of this year. And after a good summer season we actually (and fortunately) have the budget to make some of these (expensive) investments. That still doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt a little when I have to pay €185 for a turbidity meter that can measure the clarity of the swimming pool water very precisely. The guys, who not only take a monthly sample from the pool to have it analyzed by a lab, but also installed the pumps that automatically add chlorine and pH to the pool water, are incredibly busy and are happy that I have a plumber that can install the water meters at the pool. “What exactly are they for?”, I asked them as I went through the list of criteria we still had to meet. “They measure the amount of water added to the pool and the amount that gets drained out,” one replied. I looked at him questioningly. He shrugged, but his look said it all. I raised an eyebrow and sighed again. “Rules are rules.”
And so this week I’m still waiting patiently for our plumber to return from his holiday. In the meantime, I pull all the breakfast items out of both the cupboard and the refrigerator. Despite the fact that I obtained my certificate in one go and without making mistakes, I am not (yet) completely versed in reading article ingredients. I have no allergies myself and have never been on a diet in my life. Fortunately, I soon discover that all fourteen allergens are printed in bold on the Spanish packaging. This makes creating the allergen list for our breakfast a lot easier. “Ketchup contains celery!”, I suddenly shout, very loudly, when I’m almost done. My father looks up from his coffee and shakes his head. “I didn’t have that yet,” I explain my exclamation, as if I were trying to collect all fourteen allergens in our breakfast. “Now the list looks real,” he answers dryly, as he stuffs a second little cake into his mouth. “Just testing to see if it contains allergens,” he mutters. I look at him a little aggrieved. “It just looks real?!” I’ve been working on it for a day and haven’t missed an article! “Because rules are rules,” I say sternly, while simultaneously pointing to the chocolate cakes. “Better take one of those. Nobody likes them anyway.” Happy that I have not only completed another task but also have yet another beautiful paper to laminate, I proudly hold the list up in the air. The inspector (whenever he/she comes) will probably agree with me, I think, as I put away my pen and walk to the computer. Ready to immortalize my hard work in ink forever. But before I leave the kitchen, I quickly put the last products back into the cupboard. Afraid that my father will otherwise decide to test even more breakfast items for allergens. After all, I still have one more guest for whom I want to make breakfast in the morning.