“You are the love of my life, will you marry me?”, “You won the jackpot in the lottery…” or “Unfortunately, gym class is cancelled today…” are all statements that will evoke an immense feeling of joy in most of us. In me (undoubtedly) too. But because I only hear the latter every now and then, my heart always jumps when I receive good news. Like today. While I am reviewing the events of the uneventful past week in my head, my phone beeps briefly. It is 14:41 and the email I just received almost makes me cry. With joy.
“Buenas tardes. Revisada la documentación enviada. Todo correcto. Gracias.” (“Good afternoon. The submitted documentation has been reviewed. Everything is correct. Thank you.”) Only a few days after the deadline, we finally succeeded. All the requirements for both the sanitary water and the swimming pool have finally been met. There is only one outstanding point. And when I receive a photo of the plumber via WhatsApp exactly one minute after the email that just came in, my day can’t get any better. Forget that epic love, the well-filled bank account or that unexpected evening of lounging on the couch. Soon we will have two more water meters and not a single drop of our swimming pool water (new or old) will go unregistered. With a bit of luck, our file will disappear – together with that last bit of photo evidence – at the bottom of their ever-growing pile of documents. Somewhere in a drawer. Or even better: in the paper shredder.
But while the department concerned calmly continues to bureaucratize the next Bed & Breakfast, I fear that we too can expect the next controlling authority soon. After the technician from the municipality, the Servicio Territorial de Turismo (which checks whether all the requirements of the permit have been met), the Agencia Tributaria (the Tax Authorities) and Sanitat (the Environmental Inspectorate), I bet it will be between the HACCP inspector and the Guardia Civil. But as a starting Bed & Breakfast (which after one year of operation is still in its infancy in the eyes of the bureaucracy), it could just as well be a completely different authority. Probably one that I have never heard of and that is eager to wallpaper the last free square meters of our house with even more rules. After all, a day without plasticizing is a day not lived. Forget that extra room that used to be rented out for some extra pocket money. Running a Bed & Breakfast in Spain is a serious business. The number of requirements that have to be met is increasing all the time. And the owners? They can only be happy when the inspector is happy as well. Because only after all processes are running and all rules are met, there is room for something else. That epic love or a well-filled bank account perhaps. Because after an eternity in the office, I don’t mind getting some physical exercise right now.